Spy Kids 3-D
8/15/03
Mark Stokes
Three-Dimensional Fun, Two-Dimensional Plot
It was the summer of 2001. I was on an airplane flying from Kenya to London. After spending the summer as a collegiate missionary in Mozambique, I was just ready to unwind and relax. Instead, what resulted was one of the most horrific, traumatic cases of retro-culture shock known to man. The cause: Spy Kids, the in-flight movie. The film was proof to me and all of the international passengers that we Americans might not be the intellectual giants that we claim to be. Needless to say, I skipped the sequel.
As if the second film wasn’t enough to kill the mindless franchise, they producers were able to scrounge up the money for a third feature! And what’s worse, they had the audacity to use a gimmick to sell the film! I felt outraged that those mind-numbing movies wouldn’t just end. I felt pity that Robert Rodriguez really thought the American public would watch a film they knew would be poorly-made just for the cardboard 3-D glasses. And then, I felt somewhat intrigued. Of course, this didn’t come all at once. It took days, even weeks, to suppress my initial feeling of disgust with the whole series. Then, I got to thinking. I’ve never seen a traditional, red-and-blue 3-D film in a theater before. Most of my generation and below hasn’t. The plot couldn’t be that bad, could it?
So I did it. I took the plunge. I decided, like every other kid in town, to take my parents to the movie. We were hesitant at first and it took a good bit of convincing – both for myself and for my parents. Finally, though, we all came to a consensus: It couldn’t be that bad, could it? It seemed that this phrase had been haunting my mind for weeks, getting louder and louder as I came closer to taking action.
When I got in the theater, the audience was rowdier than usual. It was a room full of kids enthralled about the fact that their parents looked three-dimensional through their magical, cardboard glasses. I have to admit, I felt that same giddiness as I struggled with the clear, plastic wrapping of my free shades. We were all ready for something new, something unexpected. As the movie began, we saw onscreen objects repeatedly hurled toward the audience. It was okay, but it just didn’t seem as thrilling as our initial concept of 3-D. I imagine several of the kids had been to theme parks like Universal Studios with real, in-your-face 3-D. This just wasn’t the same. I later discovered that the silver-tinted glasses at theme parks are more technologically-advanced and thus, too expensive to give away at theaters. After several minutes of GLASSES ON and GLASSES OFF flashing on the screen, I got used to the eye-straining, psychedelic appearance of everything and I began enjoying myself.
As the plot progressed, however, I began to notice how shallow and lacking the film really is. Being a good little film student, I began thinking of different twists and subplots that would add some much-needed depth to the movie. It was then that I heard the eager squeals of delight of the children around me and realized that this was the target audience. They didn’t need twists and depth. They needed a simple story with good, clean fun – and that’s just what they got. Yes, the story might seem perilous at times, but it’s nothing compared to what’s being shown on Saturday mornings. It was at this point that I began to have fun along with the kids. I became wrapped up in the onscreen video game world and didn’t really care about the emotional complexities of the protagonist. I was having fun!
I also realized that Spy Kids 3-D wasn’t just mindless entertainment. Just because it lacks in depth doesn’t mean it lacks in values. There was a very strong pro-family theme throughout the film. It also dealt heavily with other issues like respect for the elderly, looking beyond physical handicaps, and forgiveness. I was blown away at the way such a mainstream film presented blatant family values and didn’t take the typical route of crude humor. The film really was good, clean fun! Because of its surprising cleanliness and the lesson-oriented story, I would recommend it to children of any age. I would also recommend it to their parents. This would be a great film to attend as an entire family, as it actually encourages positive family relationships. For the adult, non-parent viewers, though, I’m not so sure this is the best film for you. If you’re looking for innovation and depth, you definitely want to skip this one. However, if a fun, mindless return to childhood is what you want, by all means go see it. Who knows, maybe afterwards you too can say, “It wasn’t that bad, was it?”
Mark Stokes
Three-Dimensional Fun, Two-Dimensional Plot
It was the summer of 2001. I was on an airplane flying from Kenya to London. After spending the summer as a collegiate missionary in Mozambique, I was just ready to unwind and relax. Instead, what resulted was one of the most horrific, traumatic cases of retro-culture shock known to man. The cause: Spy Kids, the in-flight movie. The film was proof to me and all of the international passengers that we Americans might not be the intellectual giants that we claim to be. Needless to say, I skipped the sequel.
As if the second film wasn’t enough to kill the mindless franchise, they producers were able to scrounge up the money for a third feature! And what’s worse, they had the audacity to use a gimmick to sell the film! I felt outraged that those mind-numbing movies wouldn’t just end. I felt pity that Robert Rodriguez really thought the American public would watch a film they knew would be poorly-made just for the cardboard 3-D glasses. And then, I felt somewhat intrigued. Of course, this didn’t come all at once. It took days, even weeks, to suppress my initial feeling of disgust with the whole series. Then, I got to thinking. I’ve never seen a traditional, red-and-blue 3-D film in a theater before. Most of my generation and below hasn’t. The plot couldn’t be that bad, could it?
So I did it. I took the plunge. I decided, like every other kid in town, to take my parents to the movie. We were hesitant at first and it took a good bit of convincing – both for myself and for my parents. Finally, though, we all came to a consensus: It couldn’t be that bad, could it? It seemed that this phrase had been haunting my mind for weeks, getting louder and louder as I came closer to taking action.
When I got in the theater, the audience was rowdier than usual. It was a room full of kids enthralled about the fact that their parents looked three-dimensional through their magical, cardboard glasses. I have to admit, I felt that same giddiness as I struggled with the clear, plastic wrapping of my free shades. We were all ready for something new, something unexpected. As the movie began, we saw onscreen objects repeatedly hurled toward the audience. It was okay, but it just didn’t seem as thrilling as our initial concept of 3-D. I imagine several of the kids had been to theme parks like Universal Studios with real, in-your-face 3-D. This just wasn’t the same. I later discovered that the silver-tinted glasses at theme parks are more technologically-advanced and thus, too expensive to give away at theaters. After several minutes of GLASSES ON and GLASSES OFF flashing on the screen, I got used to the eye-straining, psychedelic appearance of everything and I began enjoying myself.
As the plot progressed, however, I began to notice how shallow and lacking the film really is. Being a good little film student, I began thinking of different twists and subplots that would add some much-needed depth to the movie. It was then that I heard the eager squeals of delight of the children around me and realized that this was the target audience. They didn’t need twists and depth. They needed a simple story with good, clean fun – and that’s just what they got. Yes, the story might seem perilous at times, but it’s nothing compared to what’s being shown on Saturday mornings. It was at this point that I began to have fun along with the kids. I became wrapped up in the onscreen video game world and didn’t really care about the emotional complexities of the protagonist. I was having fun!
I also realized that Spy Kids 3-D wasn’t just mindless entertainment. Just because it lacks in depth doesn’t mean it lacks in values. There was a very strong pro-family theme throughout the film. It also dealt heavily with other issues like respect for the elderly, looking beyond physical handicaps, and forgiveness. I was blown away at the way such a mainstream film presented blatant family values and didn’t take the typical route of crude humor. The film really was good, clean fun! Because of its surprising cleanliness and the lesson-oriented story, I would recommend it to children of any age. I would also recommend it to their parents. This would be a great film to attend as an entire family, as it actually encourages positive family relationships. For the adult, non-parent viewers, though, I’m not so sure this is the best film for you. If you’re looking for innovation and depth, you definitely want to skip this one. However, if a fun, mindless return to childhood is what you want, by all means go see it. Who knows, maybe afterwards you too can say, “It wasn’t that bad, was it?”
posted by Greg Wright at 1:27 PM
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